How to overcome almost any
adversity!
The God's honest truth
of how I overcame unbelievable
problems and impossible odds!
No matter how bad
it seems...
or even how bad it actually
is.
As long as you don't lose faith
in yourself... as long as you
focus on your objectives, rather
than relentlessly cursing and
complaining about the obstacles
in your path,
you can overcome and
accomplish virtually anything...
"Obstacles are those things you see ONLY when you take your
eyes off the goal".
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My personal story... with no embellishments, at
all.
At one point in my life, while having no job, a pregnant
wife, and a home in foreclosure, I "decided"
to get a DUI, total our only car, go to the hospital, then
go to jail... In the midst of all this impossible chaos, I
nevertheless created ASN. And even though, I
eventually, lost our home to foreclosure; because I had
learned to live by the principles I discuss below, even the
foreclosure ended up being a blessing.
Then years later, after getting back on my feet, eventually
buying another home (that most considered a mansion), the
financial markets took a horrible turn for the worse... What
seemed like almost overnight, I proceeded to lose that home, along
with everything else I
had manage to acquire... my home, boat, camper, vehicles...
It was so bad I couldn't even keep my health
insurance...
Then During the foreclosure process and within the span of
about 4 months of each other, my wife's mother and then her
father (who we were caring for), died in our home.
Then while we were in mourning, someone I would have trusted
with my life, stole everything that was left!
I GUESS I NEEDED A REST?
Shortly, thereafter,
I realized I needed a rest. I decided the best way to
get it was to create a situation in which I had a multitude
of servants waiting on me hand and foot, 24 hours a day. So
I had a heart attack!
That resulted in a $300,000 medical bill. Amazingly
enough, that did not improve our situation; especially
considering the fact that I did not have insurance. Almost overnight I had
gone from what most would consider wealthy to having no income to
speak of, no assets, no money, and no credit other than bad,
etc...
Life had become a bit "difficult", to say the least.
What made it even worse, was the realization that much of
what had happened to me was, at least, partly my fault... If
I had paid a bit more attention to who I trusted and had
around me, some of these issues would have been avoided. Yes...
and if pigs had wings, they could fly...
Coming back from all of this required a totally new way of
thinking.
I learned to generate a laser like Focus on my objectives,
while at the same time ignoring any obstacles and problems
until and unless there was some specific action that could
fix or minimize that problem.
Until that moment arose, I would focus ONLY on my
objectives, not my problems.
NEVER TAKE YOUR EYE OF THE BALL
·
When you learn to unflinchingly
focus on your objectives, obstacles
become simple stepping stones on your path to
accomplishment.
·
On the other hand, when you
focus on obstacles, they
become like mental brick walls that blind you to what needs to be
done.
Worrying and focusing on problems blind you to the goals and
objectives that would otherwise motivate and inspire you to
finding solutions.
By focusing on obstacles, motivation and energy is drained
and effectiveness destroyed! It
bears repeating... "Obstacles
are those things you see, when you take your eyes off the
goal".
If you really want success at anything; If you
really want to maximize your effectiveness... Learn
to focus on the objective, while tuning
out the
obstacles and side issues...
Learn to focus on your goals and the rewards of
achievement... By focusing on doing the things you know MUST be
done and when they
need to be done, you will get
the outcome you desire.
And even if you don't achieve precisely your objective, the
result will be infinitely better than what constant worry
can accomplish. It's not easy, but it's a vitally
important skill to develop.
AM I REALLY SAYING TO JUST IGNORE PROBLEMS?
NO! Of course not! But we must learn to
give problems only the weight, attention and concern they
deserve... and only WHEN they deserve
it.
Do you have to go to court next month?
Do everything required to prepare and achieve the proper
result... then go back to work!
Put your effort and focus back into achieving your
objectives. Don't give it
another thought until the day of court.
The worst
thing you can do is to handcuff your mind by spending a
month worrying about what's to come.
Worrying accomplishes nothing other than to create an incessant
cloud of anxiety that diminishes your performance on
productive tasks.
It simply sucks your energy and focus away from productive,
positive thoughts and activities. Worrying about
finances? Stop worrying about it... DO SOMETHING ABOUT
IT. PLAN!... ANALYZE!...
and then when it's time ACT!...
Remember, every moment spent worrying, is a moment you are
not moving towards a solution.
Don't Worry; Don't get distracted...
Do what you must, when you must...
but don't worry!
When you must deal
with the obstacles that arise, do
so- but
only when, and
not until necessary.
Until
it it's time to address them, pretend
they don't
exist.
Deal with them when it's time and not a moment before.
Realize, It
is impossible to BE your best when... you are WORRYING about
the worst!
There's a time to grieve,
a time to plan...
and a time to work.
DON'T GET THEM CONFUSED... Make Sure You Know Which is Which!
THE KEY TO DIRECTED FOCUS
Focus on the objective, not
the obstacle. Whatever the issue, deal
with it... but
only when it's time to do so... and not
one second sooner Then, after you've done
everything you can for that moment, move
on! That's
the trick... Don't worry about problems, strategize
about solutions. Then when
it's time, deal with them. Put the plan in action and solve them, but
NEVER worry about them before or after! Implement
the solution to the degree possible at that moment... then
until necessary, forget it and don't look back! Notice...
worrying plays no part of the solution process!
HOW THE PRINCIPLE OF DIRECTED FOCUS CREATED THE ALL
SOLUTIONS NETWORK
WITHOUT MY PERSONAL ADHERENCE TO THESE PRINCIPLES... ASN WOULD
NOT EXIST.
Success Principle "ACTION!"...
"Great
ideas are useless without positive action".
ASN didn't always exist. It was once just a great idea
that without being combined with an enormous amount of work,
perseverance and absolute commitment and focus to overcome
what seemed like insurmountable adversity, would just be
another idea that disappeared after drinking another beer.
The idea was great... the obstacles I overcame seemed
IMPOSSIBLE! Overcoming it all meant
I had no choice but to focus on
the goal, not the obstacles.
If I had allowed myself the luxury of worry, The Solutions
Network would never have become a reality.
Why Not Practice Law?
In 2000, the solutions network was little other than the
germ of an idea;
an assortment of notes on scratch paper and a couple of html
pages residing on my computer. I
already had my law degree but realized I hated the practice
of law.
Since, I was lucky enough to have been one of the top
students, I had the honor of clerking for the dean of the
law school. It provided me the opportunity to see the
complete practice of law, up close and personal. It
wasn't nearly as much like my favorite television shows as I
had imagined or hoped.
I found that no matter how you tried to
practice, no matter how much integrity you had, a major key
to continued success in law was, not
in solving problems, but
rather in creating more of them by creating more issues that
provided additional billable hours.
Think about it, if you are working on an hourly, billable
basis, as soon as you conclude your case; win or lose, that
"job" is over; that source of income has stopped! On
the other hand, if you are clever enough to interject a new
issue into the legal mix, the other attorney has an
obligation to respond; you then, have to respond to the
response, they then respond to your response... This
is what's known as creating billable hours; a sort of legal
tennis. It's where new issues are lobbed back and
forth and with every lob, each
attorney earns more money.
The nature of the system is such that, often, doing a truly
good job for your client, is often not so good for your
pocketbook.
Even if you try to stay out of this
despicable money grabbing game, you can be forced to
participate, because as soon as the opposing attorney,
creates a new issue, you have no choice but to address it, or
your client loses on the issue by default. All
the while you and the opposing attorney are racking up
billable hours at the rate of, at least, $200 to $500 per
hour. Great
money, but I like being able to look in the mirror and still
like the person that looks back at me.
I have always been about solving problems, not creating or
participating in their continuance.
Consequently, I decided not to practice. I decided I was not
going to participate in what I see as system that is often
little more than legal theft. So,
I did nothing other than an occasional Bankruptcy here
and there and handled a few legal issues for a select group
of friends and acquaintances. I
was also performing as a professional musician, playing
local clubs a couple of weekends a month.
Consequently, money was the
thing I needed the most but had the least. I
wanted and needed more income, but I insisted that I earn it on my
own terms.
MY LIFE WAS FAR FROM BLISS!
Oh yes, I also had a wife who was about 7 months pregnant,
could not work, and I, like many, had no insurance (couldn't
afford it). Oh,
and to top it off... my home was in foreclosure.
(as
God is my witness, this was my life)
I didn't have much, but
I did have a goal... an idea. I
was going to create the solutions network; (a marriage of my
education and the internet), and reach out nationwide; even
worldwide to provide the kinds of services and opportunities
that everyone needed. I
wanted to create a system that
would allow anyone, no matter their circumstances or
education to join with us and improve their lives by helping
others improve theirs.
Many friends thought I was suffering from delusions of
grandeur
I didn't feel I had any delusions. I
simply believed in the idea and was absolutely
committed to making it happen. (My
friends and family thought it was more being committed...
they thought maybe, I should BE committed) In
spite of the opinions of others and my dire financial
situation I
continued to focus on my long
term objective rather than my short term issues.
I was totally convinced that my idea would work and that
everything would be alright. If I could actually
create the system, I couldn't even
imagine how or why it would NOT
work... But
there was a caveat... I
would be alright ONLY as long as I continued to do and
concentrate on the things that I
KNEW needed to be done–
I COULD NOT be concentrating on the opinions of others or
worrying about all the reasons that I should be doing
something else.
Things were tough, my wife wasn't happy with many of the
choices I was making, and even though, on balance, my
friends thought I was a reasonably intelligent guy, they
just couldn't understand
how could I not be
taking advantage of my legal education to rake in the big
bucks. Instead I chose to live on the brink
of losing everything; while continuing to pursue a
"thought", an intangible idea that was nothing but a dream,
that was nowhere in site. No
one understood.
But it didn't matter. I
UNDERSTOOD, and that was enough! I
was committed to making this happen. I
chose to concentrate on my objectives rather than focus on
obstacles and the opinions of others.
THEN IT GOT WORSE
As I
mentioned, I was also a musician and during this time, music
actually generated a large portion of my income. One
Friday night as I left a performance at about 2:00 am, I was
convinced to take "one
shot for the road". I had been
drinking already, not to excess but enough. But since
I hadn't eaten since about 10:00 am, there wasn't anything
to absorb my last "harmless" little shot. The club was
a quaint little bar in the mountains and the road home wound
round and round through the hills and cliffs. That
"one for the road" was not one of my better life's choices.
While driving home, all of a sudden that last
shot hit me like a ton of bricks. As I rounded one of
the many dangerous curves, all of sudden, I was in a
drunken stupor; I saw 3 roads, totally lost control,
spun out and ended up, upside down in a ditch, (if I had
gone on the other side of the road, I'd have gone off a
cliff and probably be dead). The car was totaled, my
shoulder had been slammed through the side window, cut up
horribly, (the crash bag didn't inflate), I was knocked
unconscious, etc... The
end of a very bad night? No!...
Then the police showed up.
They took me to the hospital where I was bandaged up and
then carted off to jail. It turned out that my blood
alcohol level was .18 so now I was looking at some very
uncomfortable legal issues... My pregnant wife who was
about 7 months pregnant showed up at the jail to pick me up.
She used my brother's car because now,
the only car I owned was in a
ditch... totaled.
So now my life had just gotten even worse and the obstacles
more numerous and even more severe!.
I had no "job" to speak of, No money, A big
DUI, Fines on the way, Hospital bills, A
license that I was about to lose because of the DUI,
an unhappy wife, a baby on the way, No car, a home in
foreclosure, etc... But
I did have one important thing left. My
Goal. My Dream... and I would not, could not, let it go.
My friends and even wife thought I was nuts!
MY DREAM, MY OBJECTIVE WAS BIGGER THAN ANY OBSTACLE.
I had a dream to create a company that would allow me to
earn by creating a worldwide
opportunity that would allow anyone
to earn by helping others... all
with no investment.
Years ago I had heard a statement by Zig
Ziglar that
always stuck with me. "You
can get anything in life you want... if you help enough others
get what they want".
This is the fundamental precept of the solutions network.
It is the idea that permeates every aspect of it. That
was my dream and I would not let it go, for anything.
How did I deal with this "impossible situation?
My circumstances were now such that anyone in their right
mind would have changed directions.
Friends and family urged me to do so. Remember,
I had a law degree.
I could have given up the dream and gone out the next day
and gotten a great job with a successful law firm and
solved all of my money problems by simply suing people. But
I just didn't find that very exciting or fulfilling... that wasn't
my dream.
Most sane people would have re examined their life, their
situation and changed paths. What
did I do?
The moment I got home after
returning from jail at about
9:00 am, I sat down in front of the
computer and went back to work creating ASN!
FOCUS ON THE OBJECTIVE:
After spending a night in jail and the
hospital; after totaling my ONLY
car, knowing that I would lose
my license, incur huge fines, no job, home still in
foreclosure, etc... knowing that it had just become even more
difficult to improve my financial circumstances... instead of
giving up the dream and taking the path that "made the most
sense" i.e. joining a law firm, I
rededicated myself to my goal. I refocused on my
objectives.
I could have curled up in a ball in a fetal position.
I could have given up, I dare say many people might have
done just that. But
I had this one thought that wouldn't leave me... I just
couldn't shake it...
"Bruce... you know this is a great idea. There
is no way this can't work. If
you just do, what you know needs
to be done; if you make the right choices, you will get the
right results". It
became my mantra... "Do
the right thing, get the right result".
I could so easily have given up and just joined a law firm,
as everyone urged me to do. Instead, and
this bears repeating...
The moment I
got home from my "visit" to the hospital and jail (around 9
am), in
spite of my life going down the toilet, I literally walked
into my home (that I was still
losing), sat down in front of the
computer and continued transforming my notes and ideas into
my first actual website.
I worked 18 hours a day for about 4 weeks
straight, not letting ANYTHING
or ANYONE distract me.
My pregnant wife was furious (why
didn't I get a job?), my friends perplexed (they "knew" I
had better options), within
one month I had the first incarnation of the solutions
network.
From there, for a very long while it was smooth sailing...
BUT HAS IT BEEN PERFECT?
That's not to say there haven't been more issues, more
obstacles, setbacks... There
have been... some were BIG ones! Since
that time, I've had a massive heart attack... in one span of 4
months, my mother in law, then father
in law, passed away, in our home. I
then had to help my wife and children get through the
horrible emotional trauma this caused, not to mention the
fact that I had cared deeply for each of them and had my own
sorrows to deal with... Then, if
that wasn't enough, during this
time of distraction, someone
I would have trusted with my life, stole
everything, that wasn't nailed down...
As always, I overcame. The fact is,
things happen... If I had to bet, I'd guess I'll have to deal
with more issues and more setbacks in the future.
It's so unfair!
Yes, it is... but guess what—that's
life. Get
Used to It!
We all have setbacks. Some are big, some are small,
some are HUGE! But we never have a choice.
WE either overcome problems... or THEY overcome us!
For me, when new problems arise, I will do what I've always
done. Focus
on the objective, not the obstacle. Whatever the
issue, I'll deal with it... But NOT UNTIL IT'S TIME TO DO SO...
and not one second sooner.
Then, after I've dealt with it, I'll move on and get back to
work.
That's the trick... don't focus or worry about
problems. Prepare to deal with them, analyze them,
solve them, but don't
worry about them! When
it's time to act on them, Do it... then move on until and
unless it's time to revisit them.
Never dwell on them again.
NEVER FORGET THIS...
In Life, there's a time to grieve, a time to plan...
and a time to work.
DON'T GET THEM CONFUSED... Make Sure You Know Which is Which
I don't care what you do, who you are or what
you want to accomplish...There is no business concept that is
more important to your success. Focus
on your objectives not your problems.
And once you've dealt with the obstacle, forget about it. Don't
dwell on it or the person that caused it.
It's
impossible to effectively move forward if you are always
looking in the rear view mirror.
WHATEVER YOUR DREAM, YOU CAN DO IT
When you have a dream, don't give up. Don't let anyone
steal it or diminish it. If you've analyzed it and know that
it is sound, workable and worthwhile for yourself and for
the public, focus on it and don't let anything stop you.
Do that and your going to be alright.
But that doesn't mean that there won't be
obstacles. THERE WILL BE.
It doesn't mean there won't be set backs;
even temporary failures. THERE
WILL! No matter what you
do, things will not always go your
way. It just means you have
to deal with them. But
never worry about them before necessary and don't dwell on
them afterwards. What's done is done. What will
be, will be. To
a huge degree you control your destiny, providing you keep
your eyes on the prize.
Creating ASN
was what I set out to do. In spite of
seemingly impossible obstacles, setbacks, criticism from
family and friends, I persevered and accomplished that
objective. It could never have
happened without the ability to maintain focus in the face
of incredible adversity.
A HAPPY ENDING REGARDING MY FORECLOSING HOME???
Remember the house that I was losing?
I wish I could say I was so brilliant and quick that I fixed
everything at light speed and saved my home and avoided
moving my family. It would seem that would be a fairy
tale ending, but it would also be a lie!
The fact is, I was
unable to save my home.
Realize, no matter who you are, what you do, what you know
or how bright you are... things do
not always work out- THEY JUST DON'T!
But this "tragedy"
left me no choice but to make a change in direction that
resulted in a better outcome!; a home that we were able to
move into with nothing down. It was larger, nicer and
a much better fit for our growing family.
True... I didn't accomplish my original objective. But
because I didn't give up, didn't
put my head in the sand, didn't wallow in self pity asking
"why me?"... Because
I focused on finding a way to move forward, I actually ended
up with an even better outcome!
The moral of the story?
Even if you don't get
exactly what you
are after or accomplish exactly what
you attempt, by keeping your head up and your eyes open,
things will still work out... Remember,
continue to do what needs to be
done... eventually you will get a positive result...even
if it's not EXACTLY what you originally had in mind.
Remember this quaint sayiing, If you are reaching for the stars, you will never
come up with a handful of mud!
It all worked out for the best, but only because I looked
for, pursued,
expected and focused
on the
best. If
I had, instead, buried my head in the sand and asked "why
me, why is this happening to me" I
and my family could have ended up in the street.
When problems occur... don't
get down... get moving!
As Napoleon Hill said in his classic book "Think
and Grow Rich",
"Every
adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent or
greater benefit". If
I hadn't been in the process of losing my existing home, I'd
have never purchased the home that ended up being so much
better for my family.
In closing , I just want to
say:
Focus on where you are going... Not where you've been.
We all know "if you focus too much on your
rear view mirror... You will crash..."
The same is true of our lives.
